Dear Father,
I am attempting to game again. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. I want to play Warframe again. Is the lie,"I can manage this?"
I'm not really a follower of the twelve steps, but isn't the first one,"My life is unmanageable" or something?
Until we admit our need, we will never seek it.
Let me say something about Warframe. The game may portray Tenno as the good guys. The ones we should side with. The Grineer are bad, they're taking over the galaxy and poisoning the environment. The Corpus are evil, they are greedy and their machines are dangerous. The Infested are monsters, abominations, they should be exterminated.
Tenno (the term for the players' characters) are the Achilles of the story. They are experts only at killing and destroying. They are the boogeyman of the Warframe universe. They are not kind, or merciful, but are vicious, brutal, deadly predators at the top of the food chain.
If you have only read the Illiad or perhaps the Odyssey, you might think the Tenno are good. If you have studied Milton at all, and understood the basic premises of Paradise Lost, you will see that Achilles, like Milton's Satan, are the villains of the story. They kill and destroy and do whatever they can to achieve their ends. And once they do, they find that they still have limitations: their success brings them no happiness (as we can see from another epic, when Odysseus talks to Achilles’ shade, who would've been happier being a goats herdsman than living the life he lived). He may have been great among men, like Nimrod, but he is only great at slaying and hunting other men.
Tenno are the villains. We may have fun killing 3d models of creatures, futuristic robots or their malformed humans, but we are the enemy. We are hurting imaginary people, and we are certainly not heroic.
Enjoy the game. But realize what you are. And realize that within the confines of the game, that is all you can hope to achieve. You, too, are limited by the designers of the game, trapped like Milton’s Satan, with no one of any wisdom, aspiring higher, knowing that it means only to falling that much farther.