Dear Father,
It's two days before my 34th birthday. After 7 months of not playing Warframe, I started again. I don't know if it's the withdrawal, or if I still feel guilty for playing it. Considering that it's the same again and again, and not diminishing as it might, I think it's coming down off the game.
I am willing to give it up, Lord. It's fun, but.. it's got a lot of problems as a game. I just realized, one of the principle NPCs is called the Lotus. So does that make us, gamers, Lotus Eaters, as in Odysseus visiting their island? It's not really that different.
I could delete the game, that would be a start. Hide the console, sell the console, break the console. What I need is self-control. It may not be Your will for me to abstain. If that's the case, help me accept that. If it is Your will that I abstain, give me the grace to stop playing. I want to stop like at 8 pm ideally, and tonight I played until 9:15. M. went to bed without us saying our prayer, which I love. Do I love the game? Or is it a trap? A continual lust of the eyes with the pride of life? I will always want another Prime Warframe, and if I had Prime of every one I had, would that be enough? Or would I search for more pursuit of happiness? I'm not sure. I only know that it's bedtime, and I wish tomorrow would be different. Maybe it can be. If I work all day tomorrow.. and then not play it when I get home from eating with M., it might be possible. I would take a small victory at this point. You tell me I'm free. Jesus, you may have to break these chains a dozen times, but please break my chains, help me to stay free. Nevertheless not my will but Thine be done.
In Jesus Name
Amen
Love,
Kelly