Dear Father,
Today I didn’t play Warframe. I had to work most of the day, but I wanted to spend time with M. when I got home. I think the sort of depressed feelings are withdrawal from Warframe, but I experience them the day after playing it. I’ve got another offline friend who wants to play. That would be good. He needs a clan. I think I’ve recruited.. two people. T. and P. Now D.? Is this really good? Granted, the clan is going well. The clan hall is a mess, but maybe that’s something that can be remedied in time. Not sure. I wish there were a way to reboot it. Not sure there is. We would probably lose all our research. I guess that’s more important, but I have seen some good layouts. Got some people with serious architectural/spatial memory skills.
I watched about five minutes of a stream. A French player had an Oberon Prime. He actually had a lot of Primes that I could see. I wonder how many servers Warframe supports? Is it possible that the English is one of many? Could I join a Spanish speaking one? I’d need to refresh my Spanish, but it would be a good thing.
So Day 1. I’m not sure how Day 2 will work. Will I go back? Should I? I don’t really even want to play it right now, but if there is further withdrawal, I will want to play it. Then again I’ve been limiting the amount of time I spend on it, as well as the microtransactions. I would love to get a WuKong Prime Warframe, but maybe it’s sufficient enough to get a regular one, see if I like it, and then try to get one. I’d also like an Oberon Prime, and maybe a Loki Prime one day. However, I don’t need any of that. I have more Primes than any of the other clan members with the exception of G.M. And I don’t really need more warframes right now. Since I have Trinity Prime, I can level Trinity to max rank, and then get rid of her. That’ll give me a slot. Right now I have one slot, but if I save it for Wukong, that might work. I need Nitain Extract, which may prove difficult. I wonder if they’ll let me buy resources again, but I think they’ve stopped doing that. Too bad, that’s what I spent the most in game currency (platinum/plat) on. The thing about Warframe is the entire game is basically appealing to lust of the eyes. You like a Warframe, a weapon, anything, and you want one. So you either spend real money to get it, trade to get plat, or work for hours or days trying to acquire it. It’s so brilliant, because once you get it, you find something else you think you need. It’s like following will-o-the-wisps into a marsh. One leads you so far, then another, then another. Finally you’re lost in the bog without knowing why you are playing, what it is you want.
Maybe the trick here is to pray to Jesus for help with lust of the eyes, and maybe with pride of life. I don’t really feel a lot of lust of the flesh playing Warframe, which is good. I can honestly say I’m not attracted to any of the 3d models. Still, I feel like I’m learning more self-control, even if it feels like self-control boot camp. I struggle to do the breaks sometimes, especially when my offline friends are playing with me. I stopped last night at 9:15 instead of 9. When I closed my eyes last night, I saw icons and health bars. I had stared at them so long they were burned into my retinas. That’s definitely bad. May also be part of the reason I took a break today.
P. says he gets headaches if he play too long. If he continues, he gets nauseated and has to stop playing. Is it possible gaming affects adult brains or even aging brains differently.
Here’s my hypothesis on videogames. You know how artificial light confuses moths? They fly around and around, unable to navigate, because they normally fly around in the dark. So if artificial light can affect an insect brain, it’s not a stretch to thing that patterns of light, or certain colors of light could affect human brains. I know there is a lot of research about this, but imagine gaming companies will suppress a lot of it. I believe it caused my illness to manifest much earlier than it might’ve, and may have had a part in causing it to manifest at all. Thank God I live in a country where I can get the medicine I need to function, and now.. function well.
So, human brains are affected by patterns or colors of light. People can have seizures as a result of animation, videogames, cartoons. And since we’re talking about the brain.. while you’re playing videogames, you’re getting better at them. This is called neuroplasticity. Basically when you practice something, your brain reshapes itself, its neurons, its pathways, to help you improve your skill. The more you play, the more this happens, perhaps faster. What else is the game changing? We know it affects hand eye coordination? What about the other parts of the brain? It affected my occipital lobe perhaps last night. Does it affect memory and focus? Cognitive, decision making, frontal lobe stuff?
Now, you may say, “video games aren’t harmful,” but that’s not quite right. They aren’t harmful to everyone. Some people can pick up a controller, pick it up every couple of weeks with complete control. Others can’t work, forget to eat, cause decay to their relationships. If people suffer, it’s the people around the gamer the most. They don’t spend as much time with their family.
The game is so easy. You can level, do quests, look on the screen how you wished you looked in real life. Muscles without training. Prestige with 0.01 effort. Purpose and focus and vision on a plate. Oh, except the plate has lotuses on it. And they’re tasty. I mean, really tasty. Why eat other food? The Lotus is so good. I think it’s ironic that the primary NPC is called the Lotus. Although we are not consuming the Lotus in some kind of weird ritual, we are buying her story, trusting her, helping her. Maybe we are the Lotus Eaters, and instead of getting back out into the ocean of real life, finishing our real quests, focusing on eternal things, we sit on the island and forget the rest of the world altogether.
Let me ask you this, Christians: How many times are you actively tempted or assaulted by spiritual powers when you game? For the most part they leave you completely alone. I’m not tempted to sin in the real world, except the sin perhaps of drunkness. When the devil is resisting you, you know you are fighting the fight. If he’s checked out on you? You’re not kingdom focused. This can happen when we binge Netflix. When we stay up until 3:30 in the morning reading the latest installment of a novel.
You have a choice: limit your time, refocus, gradually, you attention and resources on things, particularly relationships, God, eternity. Or eat more lotus. and more lotus. and watch as the you in the mirror wrinkles, gets grey hair, gains weight. Watch as your relationships, if not abandoned, are strained, your talents go unused, and your witness, because you don’t witness, is gathering dust. “From whom much if given, much will be required”
I’m primarily thinking of the parable of the talents here, which you can read in Matthew 25:14-30. Go on, go to bible gateway, and if you can, for me, for yourself, wait 15 minutes till you log on, 15 minutes before you start up steam or the console. Take frequent breaks, maybe 30 minutes. Enough to get a chore done, walk the dog, get food. If nothing else, keep a journal of playtime. One day I played my DS for 13 hours. I played it from when I got up, with an occasional break, to the time I went to bed. I knew I couldn’t do that anymore. I still have the game and the system, but to God be the glory he has kept me from going back. And I know, when I’m ready, if it’s His will, he will help me turn my back on Warframe, if that’s what he wants. I’m glad G.M. and V. have friends to play with now, and that they’re very independent for new players. Maybe they don’t need me for the most part, and I can, go for 8 months without playing this time. It may last 8 days, I may decide to moderate and set limits for it, keep playing it, but I pray God changes my heart, and that I seek His will and His kingdom first, and not the next golden apple that leads to discord and confusion.
If I play, let me focus on the things that matter only while I’m playing: my friends and their needs, their goals, making the clan better, and always realize that my time is limited. I may be wasting my most valuable resource. “Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through the Lord Jesus Christ!”
With Jesus, His Spirit, we have the resurrection power to live a new life. I want that life. I surrendered to His will, and asked for His wisdom. In His time, He will give it to me, and then I will know what to do.
Trem